


take my hand (don't let me go)

by clemmingstho (whiskylouis)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically, Break Up, But everything works out in the end, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Weddings, and louis feels bad, harry cries a lot, i dont actually know things about weddings so, maybe some other time, not harry and louis' tho sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-23 23:32:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2559836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskylouis/pseuds/clemmingstho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the one where h&l broke up but they get back together at gemmas wedding and theres a lot of angst and crying</p>
            </blockquote>





	take my hand (don't let me go)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry
> 
> -credit to tummyhand.tumblr.com for the prompt (also check out her works, she's amazing)

 

-lower case intended-

  


honestly, harry never though he would live to the day his sister would be getting married. yeah, she’s been dating liam since her first year of  uni and yeah, she’d said they’ve been talking about marriage for years and yeah, liam hinted at him proposing but harry just never thought about it. or maybe he didn’t want to think about it. either way, he had very mixed feelings about this. 

he was in his flat when he found out she was getting married, enjoying his first day off in ages, sprawled  over his sofa with a plate of a slice of vegan pizza on his chest and his new kitten curled up in a ball under his arm. he was about to fall asleep because he was so fucking exhausted from having to get up at 4am every day and coming home late at night when the doors to his flat opened. he wasn’t worried because both his mum and gemma and his closest friends have the key to his flat, so he just opened his eyes and turned his head slowly so he could look at the intruder. it was gemma , just like he predicted and he just hummed as she sat down. 

‘’you need a life.’’ she sighed, taking his pizza and eating it and honestly, harry was too tired to complain. ‘’do you want to-‘’

‘’no.’’

she rolled her eyes. ‘’ i  didn’t even finish  th-‘’

‘’the answer is still no.’’ he muttered, closing his eyes and pulling his kitten where the plate with his pizza used to be. ‘’ i want to sleep, that’s what i want to do.’’

‘’ i  was just wondering if you’d like to help me organize-‘’

harry groaned. 

‘’- _help me organize_ my wedding.’’

harry opened one eye and looked up at her. she was grinning. ‘’you’re getting married?’’

she nodded, her hair bouncing up and down. it was white this time. harry closed his eyes with a sigh and patted her hand. ‘’good for you.’’

‘’so?’’ she asked again, poking him in the ribs. ‘’are you gonna help me?’’

‘’ask me again in the morning.’’

in the end, he was the one who organized  everything  while  gemma  was out with their mum and her friends shopping and doing whatever it is they do. so, for harry, the next couple of weeks were even more stressful than usual and by the time the wedding was just hours away, he was ready to go home and sleep for a couple of days. or years, either one would work. 

but the wedding was going to start in just over two hours and gemma was getting ready and liam was getting ready and liam's mum was crying and anne was trying not to cry and harry was so, so ready to go to sleep but he had to do some last check ups before he could get ready and everything was fine. until he got to the tables. with an over exaggerated sigh he pushed himself to move towards the first table, rubbing his hands over his face. 

'' _guys_. '' he sighed. ''the table spread specifically calls for both a salad _and_ a dinner fork.''

he tugged on his curls in expiration and closed his eyes for just a second too long and then there was someone laughing behind him and harry froze because he knew that laugh. he knows that laugh. and then the person spoke and harry had to remind  himself to breathe. 

''just as meticulous as ever.'' 

harry turned around way too fast and his eyes landed on one person he hasn't seen in over a year and missed so, _so_ much but then he remembered how that same person said in that same voice how they were  ' _better apart_ '  and how that same person couldn't  ' _love him in the way he really wants to_ '  and yeah, that same person had an excuse, he always had an excuse and at that time it was that he is in a  _ bad place _  and harry understood, he really did, but it _still hurt_ and he still spent days,   _weeks_  even in his bed, crying and cursing himself how he was such an idiot for thinking he could be loved by someone like   _that_  and he spent the whole year after that feeling hopeless and like he loved too much (which he did) and pushed too hard (which he also probably did) and it still hurt the same because even though the person was smiling right now, standing in front of harry in the tightest skinny jeans he has ever seen and a white button up with a black tie hanging around his neck, untied it still hurt and harry was torn between feeling broken all over again or feeling hopeful  because  he  was right here and maybe this was  harry's  second chance, but no. no, it wasn't because louis hurt him and it still hurt even after a year and harry was still lost without him, without his compass. 

it took him a couple of seconds to find his voice. ''what are you doing here?'' 

the corner of louis' (pink, soft) lips tugged up in a smile and he looked around the room, tugging at his collar. ''suppose the groom's best mate has to make an appearance, doesn't he?'' and yeah, harry probably should've seen it coming because  liam  did introduce them at the start but he forgot it in this mess of his life. 

''oh.um'' harry stepped back into the table and flinched when the glasses shook, twinging his fingers together behind his back and looking anywhere but louis. he wanted to, he wanted nothing more but to be able to look at him whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted, wanted to look at him when he woke up next to him, wanted to look at him when they were cooking together, wanted to look at him when the were laying on the sofa, watching horrible  tv  and pressing soft kisses into each other's skin. he wanted to be able to call him his again but louis broke up with him and he told him that there might be a time where they could try again but harry never believed him, never believed someone as perfect as louis could love someone like harry. not after louis left. '' i .'' he looked up at the ceiling and blinked, willing himself not to cry, not now. '' i  have to go, um, get ready.'' louis nodded and stepped closer and harry panicked, stepping away and walking backwards, stumbling over his own feet. ''have a nice day.'' he turned around and rubbed at his eyes, walking in an empty room, sitting on the floor, back to the door as soon as the doors were closed. 

but of course, everyone hates harry so by the time the wedding started, he realised that louis is going to be next to him all the time, either standing across from him or sitting right next to him for the lunch. normally, he wouldn't mind sitting next to a hot guy in a suit but this was louis, the guy that broke his heart and harry kind of felt like he was going to cry every time he just thought about louis, nevertheless look at him. 

the wedding reception went perfectly, both  gemma's  mum and  liam's  mum were crying as soon as  gemma  stepped in the church and  liam  had tears in his eyes and harry had to pinch himself not to cry  as well . the lunch was entertaining, harry got to embarrass  gemma  and louis embarrassed  liam  and then they were eating and everyone was talking and louis was looking at harry and harry kept his eyes fixed on his plate. 

'' hazza .'' louis sighed after a while. harry dropped his fork and stood up, muttering a quick excuse and leaving as fast as he could. he leaned on the wall outside, rubbing at his eyes once again and pushing the tears back down. and then there were (small, nimble) fingers wrapped around his elbow and  harry's  whole body was on fire, just like it was all those years he  spent with louis. his arms were pulled from his face and he blinked at louis, his head fuzzy from just louis' touch. 

'' hazza .'' he said again. harry shook his head, pulling his arm from louis' fingers and stepping away from the wall. ''please don't run away.''

harry huffed and gripped his curls. '' i .'' he huffed again. ''what do you want me to do, louis?  i  don't know what to do so tell me, tell me what you want me to do, what do you want me to say? do you want me to pretend  i  never loved you or what?''

louis was shaking his head even before harry stopped talking and he stepped closer again, this time harry didn't move away but louis still didn't touch him. maybe that's a good thing. '' i  want you to listen to me.'' louis said slowly. he spoke in the same way he spoke when he knew harry was on the edge of a breakdown and even though it's been a year since they spoke, it still calmed harry down. '' i wanna  apologise.  i  was... i  wasn't in a good place when  i  broke up with you.'' 

''yeah.'' harry rolled his eyes - another try to push the tears away. ''yeah and  i  haven't been in a good place this past year.'' he closed his eyes and shook his head, tugging on his curls once again. '' i  was such an idiot.''

louis frowned. ''what are you talking about?''

'' i  can't believe  i  thought for even just a second  that someone like you could love someone like me.'' 

''no, no, no, no.'' louis reached for harry and this time he let him, let him hold his hand for the first time in a year and let him pull him closer but he didn't let him hug him. couldn't, because he knew that as soon as louis' arms would be around him, he would break down and cry and probably kiss louis. ''harry, don't ever say that. I did love you, I  do  love you but I couldn't stay with you at the time because I was going to hurt you.''

''you broke up with me!'' harry exclaimed, pulling his arm from louis' grip. ''how is that not hurting me?'' he shook his head. ''I spent this whole year trying to remember what I did wrong, what I did that made you leave and crying every time I saw something that reminded me of you, louis. how is making me feel like I'm hopeless and that everything I ever did was wrong, not hurting me?'' he could feel tears falling from his eyes and he wiped them away, turning around just so louis couldn't see him. ''louis, as soon as you left I started believing  I was never going to be good enough for anyone ever again.'' 

'' hazza , please.'' louis' voice was dropped to a whisper now and harry felt him move closer and then he felt himself being turned around until he was looking down at louis. ''listen to me.''

''no,'' harry shook his head. ''no, I can't.''

the only warning he got was louis' eyes getting darker and then he was pushed on the bench and louis was straddling him and louis' lips were on his and louis' fingers were gripping  harry's  jaw as he licked in his mouth, swallowing every little sound harry made. ''god,  hazza .'' he whispered, pressing wet kisses over  harry's  jaw. ''missed you so much.'' he muttered, biting a mark in his neck. ''never stopped missing you. never stopped wanting you.'' harry whined, tilting his head back, his fingers gripping the fabric of louis' blazer and pulling him closer, as close as they could get. his eyes were closed, lips parted and bitten red, his curls a mess and his head fuzzy from louis. 

'' lou .'' he whimpered, turning his head so he could kiss him again. louis licked in his mouth, tugging on his hair in just the right way and it almost felt like before, almost felt like louis never left. 

''never stopped loving you,  hazza .'' 

and that's when harry really started crying, fat tears falling from his eyes and whole body shaking and louis held him tight and close, murmuring soothing words in his hair, his small hand rubbing his back as harry cried in his neck, muttering how much he loves him and how much he had missed him. they stayed there until the sun went down and people were walking home, stumbling from the alcohol they drank, until the music stopped and  gemma  and  liam  were long gone. and then they stood up and walked to  harry's  flat, to  their  flat, hand in hand and for the first time in a year harry felt like he was at home. 

days later, harry was on his sofa again when  gemma  called and told him she's pregnant but this time instead of a plate of his pizza on his chest, he had louis sleeping on top of him,  harry's  kitten and their new kitten curled up next to them and even though harry was happy for his sister, he was even happier that he got his louis back. 

and maybe if he started thinking about having his own baby with louis, no one can really blame him. 


End file.
